Guest Post by Jane: I Just Want To Be Sure

October 10, 2010

The following is a guest post written by Jane Brown, who regularly teaches Vinyasa yoga on Mondays and Tuesdays and will be teaching the new Meditation Workshop starting in November. She’s a retired high school teacher/councelor with a long-time meditation practice.

Walking through Wall Space Gallery in Westboro Village I notice a lovely hand built pot. On its surface is a drawing of a laneway leading to a little house and the words “I JUST WANT TO BE SURE” stamped into the clay. Yes! All my life I have wanted some certainty, something I could count on, something sure.

It was that same feeling that brought me to the practice of meditation in my late twenties.  Absolutely nothing felt solid: home with two young children, a strained marriage, moving to Boston….. I had always been a worrier and had a strong sense that I needed to stay vigilant; if I didn’t, something bad would certainly happen.  The uneasy feeling in my belly translated into being super organized and super capable but generally feeling on edge.  The Cambridge Zen Centre was just around the corner (fate or happy circumstance).  I started to attend sittings there.  Meditating with a belly full of unease was not always a pleasant experience.  But I began to know the pattern of thoughts and feelings that was robbing me of the ability to enjoy my life.

And so began the daily practice of coming into stillness, observing the multitude of thoughts and feelings arising, returning over and over to the breath and to the spaciousness of the moment. Breathing in and breathing out, opening my heart to my life as it is.

The practice of meditation is so simple and transforming but so difficult to put into words. Here is my attempt:

Stillness,
The core of my being
I come into stillness
To know who I am

Observe,
The thoughts and the feelings
Without attachment
Know they’re not me

Breathing,
Into my body
Enter the space
Of peace and of calm

Allow,
All that arises
Have no resistance
It is as it is

Open,
Into this moment
Coming from stillness
Be who I am

Express,
All that is in me
Let it come freely
Let Life live me

Let Love live me

Comments

2 Responses to “Guest Post by Jane: I Just Want To Be Sure”

  1. Jenn on October 12th, 2010 4:15 pm

    So beautiful, Jane!

  2. Paula Pyne on October 29th, 2010 12:02 am

    Jane – what a lovely blog post; very moving and inspirational. Thank you.

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